Friday, March 07, 2008

What a week!

I really am planning on posting some new pictures. Honest! I just need to find the time to get around to it. I'm thinking maybe this weekend. We don't have much going on, so maybe I can find some time to myelf to put some up. I have a few cute ones of the kids I'd like to share.

I haven't written much lately, being busy with so many other things. I started painting this week, and finished my first coat of paint in the living room. It turned out really nice, it's so nice to have color on the walls! I hate white rooms. I am hoping to do one more coat this weekend. I told myself I would finish one room before I start another, since I have such a horrid habit of starting something and not finishing it until months later. So when I'm done, I'll add that to the list of pictures to post!

I joined this online group on myspace called Montana Mama's a few weeks ago, but haven't really looked much into what it is. It doesn't look like much more than an online community as far as I can tell. However, I did come across a post from a new mom in Kalispell who was in need of clothes for her 3 month old little boy. I have already gotten rid of Caden's baby clothes, but I had a bunch of stuff size 12 months and up. I dug through the boxes I could get through, and ended up with a whole box of nice, cute little boy clothes and shoes to give her. I even found all the toys the people at the CDC here in Kalispell gave the kids for Christmas (I had boxed them all up because my children do NOT need any more toys) and gave those to her as well. She seemed truly blessed to have them, and I am hoping that they will get good use. I love to be able to pass things on to people who are really in need. I have been saving all of our baby stuff for just such an occasion.

Over the last couple of weeks, Sienna has been slowly weaning herself. We let her have water, soy milk, and very occasionally juice in a sippy cup. I have really pushed the cup with her so that she didn't turn out like C and A drinking out of bottles for life. But, because she sees them drinking out of a bottle or a sippy, that's what she wants. So even if I didn't give her other fluids, she still wasn't interested in nursing. I tried a few different things, but she just wouldn't nurse anymore. She would SCREAM if I tried to make her, which always ended up with me in tears passing her off to Carl so that I could settle down. I was so determined to nurse her as long as I could, or as long as she wanted to, which I was sure would be until at least 18 months. So it came as sort of a shock when she was the one who did't want to anymore, and at only 10 months. The thing that really shocked me, though, was my own reaction to it. I mean, I was disappointed, but I didn't think it should really be that big a deal. It was though! It has been quite the adjustment for me. I felt so sad that my last little baby was getting so big! She didn't need me anymore. I have had many nights of crying, wishing for a new little baby to snuggle. It seems so crazy to feel that way, (at least to my brain it does) but nonetheless, that's what I've been going through these last few weeks. I haven't even wanted to talk about it, because it made me too upset! But, I am fine now, and sanity has returned. I no longer wish for another baby, and actually feel a little bit of freedom now. I am filling out all my forms to return to school, and making plans for summer and fall. It's starting to feel fun; a new chapter, in a sense.

Better get some dinner going. Everyone have a great weekend, and I'll hopefully get some new pictures up soon!


Becky said...

I completely get the sad to see your baby leave thing -- Sam gets more boy like everyday. He called me mother the other day. Made me die a little inside.

Hope you meet some nice people.

cv said...

Your girl sounds like she will be a strong and independent woman. I'm sure the surprise of her weaning herself was difficult, but that doesn't mean in anyway that she does not need you.

I am continually amazed at how even as babies we are so uniquely ourselves.

Karli said...

Great post, Kelli. I remember feeling sad when I stopped nursing Samuel at 16 months, even at the time I wanted to stop. I wonder how I'll feel with Juniper. It's hard being a mama. A lot of steps of letting go.

I don't like white walls either.


Kelli said...

I am so happy other mother's understand how hard it was! I am nearly over it, but for a few days I seriously wanted a new baby RIGHT NOW! I did get over that as well, and am quite happy again with our three little terrors. Theyr'e enough to keep anyone on their toes!

cv- Babies are pretty amazing. I agree that we are ourselves even at a young age. Even when our twins were in the NICU, they had their own very unique, very strong personalities. It was pretty awesome to see!

Karli-There ARE a lot of steps of letting go! I'm not very good at that, either, so I guess being a Mama will hone those skills.

Becky-Me too:)

Kristen said...

It seems like the oldest babies are the ones you get to baby the longest...the younger ones watch the older ones and want to be just like them! That is hard! I'm glad you're seeing the positive side of it now (more independence, back to school)...isn't that how everything is? Change is hard, but it usually ends up okay?