Monday, October 29, 2007

Worst day

I haven't felt like I have very much to write about these last few days. The kids have been crabby, which makes me crabby, and no one really wants to hear about that. Today was such a hard day. Caden's cold is back, we went to town, and the rest of the day was just downhill from there. I should never take a sick kid to town, but I did. I do. I always do. I temporarily lose my sanity, tell myself it will be fine, and regret it from there on out. I was right on the verge of losing it with him, with all of them, wondering why on earth we had three children so freaking close together. So after I put them down for the nap that they didn't take, I checked my e-mail. I had my daily update from the preemie website, and logged on to see what was new, if I had any new messages. (I belong to a preemie website that has preemie parents all over the world who post to a message board for support, advice, etc.) The first new post is from a mom who has just left the NICU with her baby, (after 5 months) and she is writing to all mother's just coming out of the NICU. She reminds them that when they go home, and all of their friends tell them about their own babies milestones such as smiling, rolling over, sitting, crawling, walking, etc. to try and remember that those of us with preemies need to remember that we have so much to be thankful for in our babies survival. As I read her advice to these new mothers, I looked over at my cranky, screaming children and realized that amidst the chaos, I loved my babies more than life itself. The past 21 months have FLOWN by, which means the next 21, and the next, and the next will probably fly by as well. I am trying to remember that, trying to make the most of each day. Trying to remember how much I have to be thankful for. They may be pure terrors at times, but I love them. I have so much to look back on, to be amazed at, to be thankful for. I had 2 pound, lifeless babies to start out with. I didn't think that they would make it. I remember making the call to my parents that Caden was probably not going to make it one more day, yet God spared his little life. That is not a coincidence, and definitely not something to take for granted.

By the way, if you are reading this, I am sorry that this is so sappy-but I had to write how I was feeling today. I learned something from my "worst day in months", which is something worth writing about, right?

1 comment:

Becky said...

totally worth writing about . . .
This is the point of blogs --to unload all the stuff that needs to be aired.
Screaming babies are hard -- babies without naps even harder. . . you are a good mom.
I am constantly amazed at how fast it goes.
Love the pics. Caden's pic is precious and the girls are gorgeous.