Tuesday, April 08, 2008

You may or may not know that I can be very OCD. I have a certain way I like most things done, and if they're not done that certain way, I literally have a panic attack. I seem to have been loosely diagnosed as having General Anxiety Disorder. I think that that's such an ugly word, so I just think of myself as being a little particular. I have been taking a combination of flax oil, fish oil, and vitamin E the last few weeks because I've read that it can be a natural way to sort of balance me out. Apparently my weirdness can be caused by a vitamin defficiency. So, I'm giving it a try. We don't have health insurance right now, so I don't really want to go to the doctor. Plus, I am not the one that sees my obsessive cleaning/organizing/planning a problem, my husband and family are. I figure I've always been this way, so they can just get used to it. :) They disagree, and seem to think that I will be much happier if I can just chill out a little. Their words, not mine.

The thing is, it's very hard with three toddlers to keep everyone on the same schedule everyday, or to keep things completely clean and in order. Actually, it's also very hard to keep my husband on a schedule and clean and in order! But, I still try very, very hard. I can't help it, I'd go crazy if I just "let things go" as I am told to do. But, since Caden's accident the other night, I am unable to do things as I usually would. He needs a ton of extra help, plus the girls have nasty cold right now, so they're pretty needy as well. So it seems that I am going to have to learn to be laid back for the next 3-4 weeks, at least on the outside. I may have to become an excessive wine drinker for the time being, but that's a different issue!

That being said, Caden is actually doing really well today. He is really adapting quickly, just like I was told he would. He is moving himself around more, sort of crawling/scooting/rolling, and then sitting to play with whatever he can get a hold of. He has been pretty happy today, too. They all slept until nearly 10 this morning, I guess making up for the lack of sleep the previous two nights. It was so nice, I was able to get a bunch of organizing, cleaning, reading, etc. done before anyone was up! Needless to say, it started my morning off exactly the way I like it, and I was much more prepared for my three little whirlwinds.


Becky said...

oh, you make me laugh.
um, so i'm not at all ocd -- so i can't give any sage advice. i am an ocd person's worst nightmare -- can't even make a list. i can recommend asti -- a sparkling wine that's reasonably cheap and very good:)
good for caden. i'm still sad for the little guy, though.
love it when you post.

Anonymous said...

Kelli- when I was reading this it was like I was reading my own diary. I am EXACTLY like this - OCD and all. I don't see it, but my family and Jonathan tell me it all the time. I just think I'm a perfectionist. :) It's better that way. I read about eating flax seed and taking fish oil caplets as well. I haven't done it regularly so can't say if it works - let me know if it does for you. A lot of times I wish I could just "not care" about little things like clothes on the floor or too many shoes in the front room, but I can't help but letting it eat away at me. :) Hope we can chat sometime soon!

Kristen said...

I am the same way and a bit nervous about the impending arrival...

Glad Caden is adjusting alright. I still feel terrible for him though.

McMom said...

I love reading your blog! I found you through Kristens blog. Our family loves MT! We are in WA.

I was more OCD when I was younger. I have four kids. I remember when I still had just one child and my parents were living with us, my Mom said she thought I wanted to "live in a Sears catalog", because I had asked my parents to pick up after themselves. Over the years I have had to relax little by little and realize I can't do it all, and some things like loving on my family are more important than a perfect house. It is hard sometimes. Like right now the house we have moved to has no closet space and the walls are to hard to hang anything on , so I can't make this house look the way I want.

It sure is nice when the kiddos sleep in though!! By the way- how is your Mom? My father-in-law was diagnosed with the same thing about the same time as your Mom. He is doing pretty good.

Kelli said...

Becky- Well, I am sure you are much more content than I am. I am very jealous of people who can live with things that make me go into another orbit. I'm rediculous.

Emily- Well, that's why we understand each other so well! I agree, perfectionism is exactly how I describe myself. :)

Kristen- It got wayyyyyyy harder for me after I had kids... but it's totally worth it! Some people have told me that having kids made them lighten up, which I guess I have to a certain extent because I've had to, but it's also more of a personal struggle for me. I find myself constantly trying to remember that there are way more important things in life than having things MY WAY. :)

McMom- I'm sorry, I don't remember you're name (reming me!) I just posted an update on my mom. Thanks for reminding me!!! I am hoping that as the kids get older, I get more laid back. :) I like hearing from people who have older kids and have been through all this already! Gives me some hope!

aola said...

Yeah, I was like that.. once upon a time.. before 4 kids. About number 3 I gave up!! I was outnumbered and decided it was either relax or lose my sanity (which was already precarious)Sometimes, when I start feeling too wound up I just take a couple of "crazy pills" (5HTP and St. Johns Wort)The HTP is trytophan (sp?)and all natural. It usually calms me down enough that life doesn't overwhelm me.